Love Bra

For those who know (and those who don’t) I got a FIRST for this blog on my uni assignment.

So, I would just like to take some time and thank my ex and the dickheadish things he did to me which has helped me to work towards getting a FIRST in this blog. I knew I put up with all that shit for two years for some reason.

Good luck to you and your new girlfriend, maybe you’ll help her get a first in her uni work too. Dickhead.

As you all know yesterday was Valentine’s day. How could we forget?! It was pasted all over every shop window, TV screen and most of all bookface. We were the wonderful audience for all the lonely and bitter singletons, they expressed their depressed feelings over our news feed about how much they hate riding solo on vom day and how it is just a money grabbing day for all card shops. We were all then lucky enough to have this all followed by the vom worthy couples telling us how much they love their boyfs for buying them such beautiful presents, for them to further rub it in the bitter singletons faces by posting photos up of these beautiful presents.

I am pleased to say that I was lucky enough to be one of those people that spammed everyone’s news feed with romantic gestures, even if they were from my bff! She bought me a card and wrote more than four words in it (which guys seem incapable of doing), she bought me presents and put THOUGHT into it (even if it was a period mix LOL), we watched rom coms (which a guy would complain about), we drank wine and bubbly (which a guy would complain is too girly) and we ate pizza (the only thing we could use as weapon to get a guy to spend vday with us).

So, this Valentine’s day I’ve had more plans with my best friend than I ever did when I was in a relationship with someone who didn’t know the definition of romance. Not gonna lie, best vday EVER!!

(However, if I am single on Valentine’s day next year, I will be a bitter singleton and I will drink myself into a coma).

We have all been asked to go out on a date with someone we really do not want to be associated with but, cannot think of an appropriate excuse. However, you now have no need to worry as here are the ten best excuses to ensure you never encounter another awks moment!

1.    I’ve just painted my room and I need to make sure it dries okay.

2.    I’ve heard that today the world is going to end so I would prefer to spend my last living moments with my cat.

3.    My friend just split up with her boyfriend so we have a double date with Ben and Jerry.

4.    If your name isn’t Justin Timberlake, Ryan Gosling, Channing Tatum or Mila Kunis I can’t go on a date with you.

5.    My fish died so I need to stay in and comfort my cat.

6.    I’m watching Celebrity Juice and Take me out on catch up TV.

7.    Zayn and Louis from One Direction are going to tweet me later.

8.    I have a lesson on how to learn to play the ukulele.

9.     I’m changing the engine in my car.

10. I’m practicing for my audition to go on the xfactor.